Hey, Adventure-Raisers! Boy, the number 13 really is cursed, I’m so sorry this week’s upload was delayed. There were a few technical issues that I had to bash my head through, on top of a prolonged cold, etc. Anyway, I’m just glad to be back. The game must go on!
Ok, so, this week I wanted to talk about a harrowing, and unfortunately very common parenting experience: your little dragon rolling a stealth check in a public place. Now, my Little Green Dragon is only 14 months old, so he can’t get as far as I know some of yours can… but that never stops him. And that’s my karma.
I remember getting sooooo many jollies out of zipping as far from my mother as I could in the grocery store. Somehow, outrunning a woman with a grocery cart and squeezing into the coat racks, behind all those soft new shirts and stiff kiddie shorts was funny. My adult brain can’t explain it, but I know my child brain thought it was fantastic. I believe it lasted right up until third grade or so (note, while I was scaring my mother every grocery trip by day, I also had the nerve to be so scared of the dark every night that I slept with her and I’m a blanket thief).
But karma is true neutral…. and kids are truly chaotic neutral…or chaotic evil? Maybe. Little Dragon, as you may have noticed, has started walking everywhere now. In preparation for GenCon, and for public in general, I am pushing the hold-my-hand rule as hard as I dare. Little Dragon HATES it. I…I let go to push my hair covering back up at the mall this week and in the blink of an eye my son had gained haste (MTG Wikit) and he was 20 feet from me. Side note, that is just proof that a standard starting speed of 25 feet in 5e is bull, but that’s a war for another day. In the moment I felt my heart leap out of my chest, like a beholder had left me petrified… as I realized just how far he had gotten so fast. I gained freakin’ WINGS and bounded to him, snatching him into my arms and crying as I tried to scold him and calm my own nerves down… I barely noticed a sweet old couple who came over to comfort us, I barely replied to their polite inquiries and soft tones. Thank God he’s not old enough to choose to hide from me yet… and I now realize I owe my mother an amazing gift this May.
Speaking of my mother was clever. It occurred to her that the easiest way to compensate for a child’s bad behavior was to make a better behavior more appealing. Say that with me again: the best compensation for bad behavior, it make better behavior more appealing. See, after a few adventures hiding in the kids section my mother actually stopped coming to look for me. Oh, I could hear her nearby, but her voice lost the urgency. Her steps didn’t follow me so closely. I thought I’d won, but that was the furthest thing form the truth because (LOL) our local grocer sold ballons for pennies. That’s right, every trip she’d ask bright-eyed little toddler me if I wanted a balloon, and when I grinned she’d buy me one… and tie it to my wrist. Problem. Eliminated.
So, in all, I know these stories are terrifying… if they are not, they should be. I don’t encourage any sloppiness in this sector, as I don’t think any of us do. I share these stories just to encourage you to take all that creative energy that you exercise at the table every game day and use them in real life. You ARE good at puzzles, you ARE good at thinking outside of the box. You ARE good at out-maneuvering the DM. Take a deep breath and look for a way through each puzzle as it comes. There are solutions out there. And especially remember that you’re not on this journey alone. Feel free to comment, I want this to feel like a community.
