What’s up, Adventurer-Raisers?!
So, last week or so I posted in r/GenCon a picture of my Litle Green Dragon tuckered out at the 2023 GenCon. I meant it to be encouraging for everyone, also, if I’m honest, I thought it’d be subtle advertising. Anyway, someone commented and very politely asked the following:
“There was a post not too long ago on here where several comments advised against brining a toddler. What are your arguments for? How’d you make it work?”
I replied thusly:
“Totally fair questions. Firstly, I’m not going to paint with a wide brush and insist that every family should bring their babies/toddlers. Obviously our situations are different and as parents it’s on us to be adapable. I want to just give people a springboard to consider if these ideas work for them. As for why I think it’s a good idea to bring them at all, I’d say that I want to instill a love of exploration, companionship, and imagination that comes with TTRPGs. And I think kids benefit from early socializing. You can’t expect them to know how to act in groups until they experience groups. As for practical tips and tricks, imagine how you navigate a mall or a crowded grocery store – walking thru the Con is really not much different than that. Sitting in on events is tricky, but depending on how you time it with nap tines and/or if your spouse is willing to take turns, it’s very doable. Also, the kiddie area they put up last year was amazing for family breaks.” And I got a few likes!
Forsooth, this has got to have been one of the most civil discourses the Greater Internet has ever seen. Nat 20! Anyway, it got me thinking that maybe I need to be a little clearer about this kind of thing. I understand, firsthand, how hard it is to raise a baby. How hard it is to keep your hobbies, your life, your art, intact. I know how terrifying it can be when something small and innocuous 5 minutes ago suddenly slips into their mouth and all you can think about is running across the room to get it out, and then when the danger is past all you can think about is how awful you must be at this job that they even got that d20 in their mouth, when all you were really doing was checking your messages… Yes, Little Dragon found my husband’s dice recently and all this really happened. He’s fine, we’re all fine, but it was scary. So I get it. It’s hard to constantly feel like you have to choose between what makes you happy and what you think it best for your little dragon. On that note, it’s one thing to bring them to game day, and set up a highchair next to the DM screen and feed them fishy crackers. Taking them to a Con seems impossible.
But there’s nothing wrong with it. So long as you understand the importance of keeping your dragon safe, which I know you all do, then it’s not a sin to want to live and be a parent at the same time. I want to share one of my favorite pieces of advice that a friend gave me when I was pregnant. This was an older, chivalrous gentleman who used to work with me before he retired. He said, “Don’t let them scare you, kid. You don’t have to give anything up, you don’t have to skip any fun travel or games or anything. Just bring them with you and you’ll figure it out. You’re smart.” Those old Detroit engineers… some of them are pretty smart. Anyway, I took it to heart because I realized that I wanted my kids to learn all the lessons that I learned, but earlier. I grew up kind of alone… and that’s no one’s fault but mine, and probably the topic of another post, but anyway, I had no idea how to act at a Con or at a TTRPG until I dove in. And was terrified in both situations. I can’t help but think how great it would be if my son had a shot at picking up these things while he was still so young.
To be fair, Little Dragon is not like me. He’s 14 months old and I think he’s already got more friends than I do. I was a shut-in till I was 17. So, besides wanting him to experience the Con and learn how to act in it, I feel like in a way I’m letting my extroverted little dragon stretch his wings. He loves art, he loves people, he loves stories… Cons are full of those things. And sure, I’m stressed out most of the time and I’m trying to watch him, feed him, change him, whatever it is that he needs… But let’s be honest, I’d be that way even if we were home watching TV.
You know, I made an older gentleman almost cry the first time we walked into GenCon last year, because I leaned down to the stroller and I said, “Now, I want you open your eyes, Little Dragon. Because this is your culture.” And it’s true. I’m a nerd, trying to raise a nerd. Why shouldn’t I share all my nerdy stuff and nerdy humor and nerdy time with him???? Obviously it’s hard, but it’s hard anywhere. And that’s what I want this community to be for: for us to share ideas and experiences so we can make this happen.
Alright, so… I think I made my point there, haha. I wanted to shift topics here to talk a little bit more about just me. I’m still not going to post direct personal details (…yet), but I was thinking that I should give a few updates about myself to you guys… maybe just to prove I’m human. And if I’m human, you might feel more comfortable being here. My end goal here is to make a community for parents like us, after all.
Well, here goes! You know I’m turning 29 this year. I’ll start by saying that I’m an engineer. I love my career, and I feel very passionately about it. That said, I am currently between jobs (send good vibes!!). It was a voluntary separation for sure, and I am making the most of it by playing with my dragon all day long. I’m also hoping to do more here in the meantime, too. Um, another thing about me: my birthday is next week! And my group will be meeting again for our next session on my birthday, so my plan is to tell everyone how that goes after the day. It’s also Little Dragon’s first session after he started walking… so Imma need good vibes on that, too, haha. I run a casual boozey book club among my friends. I’m trying to plant a garden this year. And I wear a hair covering for religious reasons, not covering my whole hair but always covering the top of my head.
Ok… that’s all from me, Mama’s and Papa’s! Have a good week, Adventurer-Raisers, and look out for my memes and feel free to pass them around! And above all… never forget that you’re not alone on this journey
